Yesterday morning started out rough with my dear daughter (let’s call her…D) waking me up at 5:40 am, asking to play. I’ve never been a morning person, but as always, the inner guilt got me out of bed. We created magical shapes with Play Doh and had a glorious pretend picnic, and then I went ahead and started making breakfast so we could get an early start.  Her preschool starts at 9:00 am, so you would think we would most certainly be on time. Well, we most certainly were not, and didn’t get to school until past 9:30 am. Let me recap what happened:

• D decided to get out of her dining chair every other minute while eating half of her PB & J.
• Boss decided to call at 7:30 a.m. to get some status on something.
• Husband couldn’t help as much as he normally would because he had to get to the office.
• D decided to cut a whole deck of paper and throw a confetti party while I was packing her lunch.
• D decided she wanted to say no and do the opposite of everything I asked her to do.  
• After being nagged about 1000x, D decided to say… “OKAY OKAY… I understaaaaandd… would you STOPPPPP….” 

At that point, I raised my white flag. I left her to her chaos, sat quietly at the dining table and started searching on the Internet:

• It is normal for a 4-year-old to be mean and defiant?
• How do I get my 4-year-old to listen without nagging?
• Does nagging have any negative impact?
• How can I stop nagging?

Thankfully, A.I. reassured me that it is normal for a four-year old to be mean and test boundaries. In fact, it’s a normal part of development. (*Phew* aren’t I glad to find out… this is “supposed” to be normal… Now I just need to search what “normal” means…?)  

After 10 minutes of quiet, my daughter realized something was off with me (what a surprise!), came over and asked… 

D: Are you mad, mommy?

Me: Yes, but more so frustrated and tired than mad. Do you know why I am frustrated?

D: Because I am not changing and brushing?

Me: Yes, those, but also, I am frustrated at myself.

D: Why?

Me: I really don’t enjoy nagging.  Do you like me nagging at you?

D: No.

Me: Can you let me know how I can stop nagging to have you listen or do things willingly?

D: I don’t know. 

Me: Well, I guess we are on the same boat.  Sorry, it’s a rough morning.  It’s my first time being a mom. 

D: It’s okay mommy. I will give you a hug. ❤ 

…

After drop off, I sat in the parking lot at D’s school, going through my usual multi-tasking madness. I immediately switched from listening to Moana 2 (great soundtrack, but by the 80^th time…on loop….I am okay to give Moana and Maui a break), checked my work phone for urgent emails, considered getting an Americano, and decided to start searching “how to stop nagging my kid.” 

Then I saw it. An article from schoolbag.edu.sg — “What Happened When I Stopped Nagging My Kids”. It was…transformative. The author, after embarking on her own parenting social experiment, dared her readers to go on a “no nag challenge” for two weeks.

“Since they are old enough to know what needs to be done and when, I would tell them to do or not do something at most once. If my demands go unheeded, they would have to bear the consequences, which would vary according to the tasks or infractions.”

Liberation from nagging? Stop being the chief of staff and instead be a life coach for my kid? “Catching good?” PICK MY BATTLES?!

After reading the article, I immediately told my husband about it, and I was ready and motivated to just ZEN out. Can I do it? Will I do it? Can I keep up with it? Updates to come…

We’d love to know if any of you parents out there have done a nagging detox, or if you think it’s a good, okay, or terrible idea. Please share your thoughts and experiences!